So you and the love of your life finally get married and everything is fine for a year or two. The bliss starts dwindling, though you still love your partner more than anything but now what? Your mind is racing off and on and you ask yourself what can you do to keep the fire going?
Knock knock) "Who is it" You or your spouse ask. "Its me, your ex, home-wrecker, or game killer(wife or husband's up-stager). You or your partner replies: "My spouse isn't here right now. I can't really hang right now because I'm busy". (Ex, home-wrecker, game killer)-"But...but...but...what, your love has you under lock and key or can you breath with that tight leash around your neck?" "You should not have to give up your female or male friends if your marriage is as stable as both of you claim". "Let's go out to the movies or talk sexy and flirt behind your partners back". "Make sure you spray the house so your spouse does not smell perfume or cologne". "Also erase yesterdays text messages in case your spouse checks your phone". "I have known you for six years before your partner so its okay if we sneak around without you spouse's knowledge". "By the way, let me remind you I'm a good guy/girl of Christian values. (No offense to any religious people because I'm a God fearing Baptist and Spiritualist)(I'm only making a point I promise!). "It does not hurt to cyber flirt behind your spouses back". "If we tell your spouse it will hurt his or feelings". "Oh! By the way you should come visit me in my state but don't bring your wife /hubby. It won't get out of hand".
Next thing you know the hubby or wife meet up with the ex or the home-wrecker and OOOPS they both trip and fall on each others "HELLLLLO!!!" I know some folks that were in this type of situation and it turns me into a seething volcano. Its not right or fair to do people like that at all. Ex's are ex's for reasons.
Okay they might be a babies mama or daddy. Fine! But you guys went your separate way for a reason and those people had their chance to be with you. You have to remind yourself that you been there and done that. It didn't work. You also have to remind yourself why you are even thinking to taint the relationship you took an oath to honor in your present marriage. This is especially true if you genuinely have plans to spend the rest of your life with your spouse. To me it seems like some people don't take marriage serious anymore. That kind of milestone is precious to me. Again, like I mentioned in yesterday's blog, Its not that I don't want to get married because I do. I just want to make sure that the commitment is with both of us for the long haul. We are both playing for keeps.
With home wreckers, they can come as male or female. They are usually again babies mamas or dads. They can be a tempting piece of eye candy if you and your spouse cease to quit having sex. I say this because there will always be home wreckers in the shadows. They lurk in the shadows waiting to sabotage most relationships that are happy. Home wreckers usually pop up like the toy in a jack-in-the-box when the bond of your relationship is weak. The roles of home wreckers usually land in the title of ex wife, ex gf, male or female best friend that your spouse runs to when you argue or fight. This person is a go to person. A tempting game killer can also be someone who is probably successful and sexy as hell. They are also coworkers, your spouses relatives or someone from school. Sometimes home wreckers strike because they are unhappy. They also tend to strike when your spouse goes off the market. Why? Simply because they feel they can and they don't care who they hurt. They don't really want your spouse, but they don't want you to have him/her either. My personal opinion is this... I think a home wrecker for any reason probably thinks your spouse was going to be single the rest of his or her life. Your spouses role in the home wrecker's mind was that your spouse was going to be single the rest of his or her life to be around and drool after them from afar. The home wreckers get shot back to reality when your spouse, who was not good enough to pursue, found someone who actually makes him/her happy. A home wrecker may start scheming to play games with your spouses head. A home wrecker could want your spouse to think your cheating all the while claiming you two are simply friends. A home wrecker wants to make sure your spouse looks like a raving, jealous lunatic while playing the role of an innocent angel. Ask yourself this... Yes you might have had a crush on this home wrecker and maybe you guys were indeed just friends. If the home wrecker wanted you, don't you think that this person would have made their play for you before you found the love of your life? Not only that, but everything seemed fine until the home wrecker started trying to be a tempter or a temptress. A home wrecker tends to show up in various places that either are related to your job, home or that regard your spouses life. You and your spouse question each other and because the home wrecker knows exactly what he or she is doing, their plans make them laugh. In their head they really think they have things running their way. The home wrecker might even spend time with an innocent bystander for two or three years waiting for you and your spouse to get divorced. When the two of you don't because you worked through your hurdles, then they kind of fade into the woodwork...because they know better!! **Cough*** cough** They better run!!:P
Game killers-This group of people at least from my life experience can be described as the person who love your spouse, but your spouse chose you.( In other words the possible one who got away). They can also the ones who would not mind wiping you off the map because it eliminates their competition. Game killers are the ones who might find you a threat because of envy or jealousy. Their life is miserable so they want to see you miserable too. They can be family such as parents, or grown children who don't like their step parents. They can be someone who was a mere acquaintance on Facebook that thought your spouse would end up with them but your spouse never went anywhere. This type of game killer could be dangerous because they might try to mock everything you or you spouse says and do.
This type of game killer might try to copy your ideas and even find out where you live. They might try to become like fatal attraction. Why some one would go through these extremes is beyond me. True story though. I knew someone who went through this type of predicament. This type of game killer reminds me of a dangerous sociopath. They make their friends think that all these copied ideas are because its part of their persona. Its not part of their persona though because game killers like this are like a camillian, changing colors to blend in to whatever fits the mood and usually just to do so. Another form of game killer is someone who falls under the category of you or your spouses nemesis. Of course the above personality descriptions are a form of nemesis, but these are people who look down on you or your partner.
The reason why you and your partner are looked down on by this group of people is because they think they are better than you in all forms possible. Better looks, more educated, better car...the list goes on and on. These game killers can fall under your wife or husbands sexy but horny friends, family or coworkers. They are always bragging or competing with both of you. These game killers tend to try to portray how perfect they are in comparison to you. They usually don't have a conscience and do not care whose marriage they destroy. Its nothing for them to seduce someone's spouse. If you compete with them, these game killers are like emotional vampires feeding their ego with your psychic energy being drained. If you fall into their traps, its less energy you have to nurture your marriage. That being said I have more tips on what you can do to not let others steal your joy for any reason.
My eBook can be found on Smashwords.com I will also have a separate blog with related topics for this title. My blogs are not duplicate of my eBook chapters. They are supporting ideas, thoughts, and discussions. I also post when my new blogs are done on Twitter, Facebook and Instagram. New eBook platforms will be coming soon. Thanks for dropping by and have a great night/evening. I am in Boise and its 3:55am. Talk at you later:)
COPYRIGHT 7/15/15 S.L. MELENDEZ
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