There are a number of reasons why I wrote about dating. If your single and casually dating, it can be a long, complicated process. You are trying to get to know people while having a million questions going through your head. The questions running through your mind are probably regarding if a certain person is right for you. Other questions pertain to how you will fit that person in your life with everything and everyone else. I admit I used to become apprehensive introducing my partner to my friends and family. I was always scared that there might always be one person or a group that did not like my partner. I am sure most people might go through that same apprehension as well. It can be a very scary process. When I was single and dating before I met my boyfriend of five years, I was very emotionally guarded. I went on a number of dates. I quite frankly felt like I did not have anything in common with most of the guys. The chemistry was not there and I felt like I could not relate to them. They seemed nice enough but I actually had people measure me up like I was not good enough. I know I am and I know my worth and value. My boyfriend and I are working our way toward the big milestone of getting married. I wanted to include the topic of dating along with the pros and cons just because I found it hard to do when I was single. Dating can be frustrating. It can be frustrating to the point where it makes people want to give up looking for someone all together. I was at that very point right before I met my boyfriend. When people become frustrated with dating, its because they feel they will never find someone they are compatible with. People are probably looking for their one true love because I know I was. Some people date or settle with anyone just because they might be afraid of being alone. I consider being with someone so you don't be alone a con when it comes to dating. Again it goes back to recognizing your value and really figuring out what you want in a potential partner. If you don't know your value, you could set yourself up for mental abuse, manipulation, and being a doormat to people your involved with. When you begin dating, you have to have a backbone or at least attempt to have one. Setting standards and boundaries when dating are also a must. If you do not have standards and set boundaries it will eventually lead to unhappiness. If you are dating a number of people, and time after time it does not work out for a number of reasons don't give up. There is nothing wrong with you. Some people figure they are weird or strange and blame themselves for all of their failures. In reality it could be that you don't have chemistry with people. It might have to do with standards being too high. I have met people who say they wanted a husband but when they were introduced to a perfectly good suitor, the suitor was quickly shot down because of vanity reasons. I realize yes to a degree you have to find someone physically attractive, but looks are not 100% though. With me I measured people by their mind and heart first, then looks was close to last. I love intelligent people with a kind, compassionate heart. Lets just say the person who shot the suitor down did not even try to get to know the person at least to become friends with him. I'm sorry I just think its wrong! That brings me to the next point I wanted to make. When you are dating, you should not be quick to judge someone without getting to know them first. Even if it does not work, you always have a friend. On the other hand, when people date, they should not sit by the phone. They should live their life. Dating though is definitely important in getting to know someone you find interesting or intriguing. This is especially true if you are growing to love someone. For more of my dating tips and ideas, my book is full of my insight regarding dating. I am getting my Masters degree as a relationship and grief counselor. These are two fields I feel like I am destined to go into for many reasons. I hate when people die and they are hurting because of it. I also do not like to see people split up for petty reasons when the relationship can be fixed.(I support relationships that are full of lasting potential). If the relationships are toxic I say run for the hills! My book will be coming to Barnes & Noble soon. I will keep everyone posted on Facebook and Twitter.
COPYRIGHT 7/12/15 S.L. MELENDEZ
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